Growing as a writer

Dear fellow bloggers,

Hello and welcome to my blog. Unfortunately, there’s no poem to entertain and enchant you with this time. The thing is my Dad’s in the Armed Force and he gets posted every 1.5 years or so and I’m shifting to Lucknow (Situated on the northern Gangetic plains of India) in a week. But I’m leaving for Delhi (Capital of India) tomorrow, as my mum stays there. I’m in my final year of schooling (I’m a senior) and the academic pressure is already building up. To say the least, it took a lot of time to adjust here in Jammu (winter capital of Jammu and Kashmir) and being an extrovert I’d never anticipated being so isolated. Not only was I staying in a remote area miles away from the Main City but the mentality of people took me by surprise. It was a rude shock and it shook me to the core. So I resigned to fate and confined myself within the four walls of my little home. That is when my artistic prowess shined through the words I dreamily scribbled on the last pages of notebooks. I’ve always been a quitter because I don’t have the patience and perseverance to accomplish something but poetry offered a different world. My poems were not only appreciated but insightful critiquing was a major help. I was highly motivated by other poets and I realized, writing is cathartic for me and it’s the ONLY thing in my life that makes me feel alive.

Coming back to the issue on hand, I’m scared that after I shift I’d no longer be able to write. School work and adjusting to a new place will consume all my time. I’m not consistent and I’ve noticed a pattern i.e. I write about 6 poems in a month and then my creative juices cease to flow though I’ve never pushed myself to write because almost every time I’ve no clue about what I’m going to pen down. My ideas appear on the spur of the moment and spontaneously similar thoughts follow next. But what If my brain refuses to be creative burdened by all the stress?

Only time will tell.

Till then, I want to thank ALL the people who took out time to read my poems, follow my blog, drop heart-felt comments and clicked the like button.

Thank you so much!
All of you bloggers are amazing writers and I wish you good luck.
I hope I keep improving, accepting new challenges and exploring new terrain.

Take care.
With warm regards, Sanah

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Bonding Time

Tags

bonding, cherish, childood shenanigans, daddy, enlighten, godsend, in cahoots, loose lace, march, mimicking, pictures, playful, poem, quotes, synchronized steps, toughening up, walks, whimsical grin, witty

He said
Tie up that loosely swinging lace
Or you’d fall flat on your face
Buckle up little soldier
For a march of our own
With synchronized steps
Shoulder to shoulder
Cross the road yourself today
C’mon now, be a bit bolder

Watch out for the vehicles
He’d chide
Walk on the right side
Lengthen your stride
But his words would fall on deaf ears
And when I’d start to pant
He’d slow down to my pace
With a whimsical grin on his face
He’d tease me all the way home
And call me a sloth, a wise cracking gnome

He called it “bonding time”
A time we’d walk routinely
On our customary routes
Sometimes having momentous conversations
Other times mimicking people, in cahoots

He’s toughening me up
Preparing me for the real world
For I’m safe in my cocoon
Polishing my rough edges
A wild bush he’d prune
Tending with loving care
He’s a godsend, a disguised boon

He’d entertain and enlighten
With stories and childhood shenanigans galore
My witty walking partner
His playful personality keeps me in stitches
Time will fly and our walks would cease altogether
But I’ll always cherish
These walks with my father

Return of the Rogue

Tags

courtships, exotic destinations, fleeting, forsake, mariner, pictures, poem, postcards, quotes, rogue, scoundrel, sunburned, voyage

I see, you’ve returned
From your voyage
Around the world
Sedate and comically sunburned

Lo and behold
It’s your birthday
Showered with love
Postcards sent all the way
To your doorway
From a girl in every port
Who’d been at your beck and call
From fleeting courtships
On the verge of fizzling out
When they finally figured
You weren’t such a knock-out

Oh, you expected me to wish
How could you be so foolish?
Hoping you’d show up and be forgiven
That after all this time,
I’d still be love-stricken

Anyway, A very Happy Birthday to the lying
Cheating rogue
You’re one day closer to dying
I forsake you, rot in hell
Goodbye scoundrel, fare the well

PMS Delirium

Tags

binging, cranky, depression, elation, frenzied thoughts, irrational, laziness, moody, obsessing, picsture, PMS, poem, quotes, whining

My jeans are tightening
My rear is fattening
My waist isn’t tiny
“Oh god, why me?”
My hair is greasy
My room looks sleazy
It takes every ounce of energy
To write
My grades are dropping
I’ve lost my insight

Their life seems
So much better than mine
All I do is throw a fit and whine
Lashing out at anyone who dares to call
Vacillating between extreme of
Depression and elation
Laziness and agitation

Obsessing over appearance and weight
Abruptly infuriated over being laughed at
For choosing to remain celibate
This mania continues throughout the day
Before it gradually begins to abate

The short-lived hysteria subsides
As I gulp in fresh air, out on a stroll
Bereft of anger and at peace
My frenzied irrational thoughts no longer beyond control

Bidding Adieu

Tags

apology, battling, brick by brick, brooding, empty heart, fare thee well, feign, friendship gone awry, indifference, joyful days, mental wounds, morose faces, mourning, mumbled goodbye, nostalgic, outsmart, pics, poem, pretense, quotes, reminiscing, sisterly love

As they bid adieu
With grave morose faces
A heavy brooding silence descended on them
Mourning the loss of time
Spent battling, sabotaging lives
Feigning indifference
Maintaining a hollow pretense
Having fun at one another’s expense

The struggle between a proud mind
And an empty heart
Conning each other, trying to outsmart
Had lead nowhere
It had only widened the void
Craving to be filled with sisterly love and care

As they huddled closer
Reminiscing the carefree and joyful days
Overwhelmed and nostalgic
They tore down the wall that had built between them
Brick by brick

Alas, it was time to leave
It would’ve taken only an apology
To relieve
Her of her misery
But none had taken the first step
Scared of the implication
So she had and boy, she was glad

Had they done so
She would’ve forgiven them
In a heartbeat
Now all she’ll remember would be
A hasty hug and a mumbled goodbye
For in this lifetime
They’d never meet

Estranged Beloved

Tags

drift apart, fatalism, futile, gaiety, ignorance, impulse, let go, oblivious, ordained, pics, poem, pregnant pause, quotes, sagged, sly, solemn, sudden disappearance, trademark smile, valiant, week in the knee, willful, wry

Perched on his bike
His shoulders sagged
His head bent
Peering at the ground
Oblivious to the gaiety around

Took a valiant effort to pass by
On impulse she looked back
Their eyes locked
She stopped in her track
In his hand he held a half-empty cigarette pack
He smiled his trademark smile
Wry and a bit sly
One that made women go weak in their knees
On her it seemed futile

Her face grew solemn
As he approached her
Willful ignorance and fatalism
Had all been in vain
Fate had ordained their meeting
Here was her chance to explain

He stood still, searching her eyes
A pregnant pause lingered in the air
Recalling the distress her sudden disappearance had caused
His questioning gaze turned into a glare

She refused to meet his eyes
And spoke the words she had rehearsed for days
Unburdening the weight on her heart
She felt they had drifted in divergent pathways

With nothing left to say
And one last look
She did what she’d done before
. . . Slowly walked away

Male Chauvinist Pig

Tags

atrocious, cold stares, cyber bullying, defamed, hate mails, heinous, insecurity, intimacy, male chauvinist, pics, quotes, scandals, snickering, social pariah, unjust

Cold stares and snickering
As she moved further
Their banter turned to bickering
About the extent of your intimacy
Your humility
Had given way to insecurity

She was the talk of the town
Flooded with degrading mails
Inquiring about the minute details
Of the scandalous tales
You had so insolently spread
My heart dropped
Hearing the things you had said

Who knew you were capable of such a heinous act
You defamed her and disgraced her honour
Unworthy of her trust
What you did was atrocious and unjust

A foul-mouthed male chauvinist pig
Is what you truly are
You were her strength, her messiah
Now she’s suffocating behind closed doors
Crushed under the weight of
Living life as a social pariah

Reliving Ingrained memories

Tags

archway, clandestine, debacle, etched, heart, inanity, liaison, maudlin, melody, myriad, panoramic, pics, quotes, rending, reverie, satiated, self pity, unrivaled beauty, weary, willow

 

Strolling in the wilderness
In a reverie, aimless
This panoramic vision
Had once been a haven
For their clandestine liaison

The unrivaled beauty, unfolds
A myriad of heart-rending memories
Etched in her mind,
For years they had laid entwined
Beneath the willow
Humming a melody
Pleasant and mellow

On the brink of inanity
She indulges in maudlin self-pity
Their love as sweet as a miracle
Had turned into a macabre debacle

Satiated and weary
Of shedding tears
She gathers strength and walks away
Her fingertips slightly brushing against
The familiar trees forming an archway